Values

Topic key points  

• Values are a type of compass that guide our actions.  
• When we live in line with our values it is common to experience more meaning, purpose and vitality.  
• In addition, living a values-based life helps us to be more resilient when the harder times come around.  
• As coaches, you are in a great position to help people clarify their values, find ways of bringing those values ‘into their life’ and troubleshooting any roadblocks that come up.  

Introduction to Topic 

Values are a type of compass that guide our actions on an on-going basis. They are qualities of action that express how we want to show up in the world and treat ourselves, others and our environment. Our behaviour is usually influenced and guided by a whole range of factors such as emotions, external situations, urges or beliefs. Sometimes, our behaviours are helpful, making life more meaningful in the long run. Other times, our behaviours are less helpful or effective. This is completely normal. However, the more we can bring our behaviour under the influence of our values, the more likely we are to experience a sense of meaning, purpose and vitality in our life. Consider the differences between going to work under these conditions:  

• Primarily motivated by a belief that ‘I have to do this job’ or ‘this is all I can do; things won’t get much better for me’  
• Primarily motivated to escape an unpleasant home situation and marital tension 
• Primarily motivated by our values around contribution, connection and growth  

Which form of motivation is likely to bring the greatest sense of meaning and purpose? This is not to say that all our behaviours should be guided by values 100% of the time. This is not realistic. The aim of this work is to help clients increasingly bring their behaviours more and more under the influence of values in order to make life more meaningful and effective.  

There are some important aspects of values to remember: 

• Values refer to on-going actions, how we want to behave on an ongoing basis. This is different from goals, which are future focussed and can be ‘checked off’. Values on the other hand are present focussed. Getting married is a goal. Being a loving and caring partner is a value. In any moment we have a choice to act on a value or neglect it.  
• Values are desired qualities of actions. They represent how we want to behave. They are not about what we ‘should’ or ‘have to do’. Values are freely chosen. We don’t have to act on our values, we do it because they matter to us.  
• Values often need to be prioritised. We can’t act on all our values all the time. In different situations certain values will become more pertinent than others.  

• Values include how we want to treat others, ourselves and the world around us. So, if we value being compassionate, it is important to ask ourselves how we show that values to ourselves, not just others.  
• Values can include overt and covert behaviour. Overt behaviour refers to what others can see, what we do with our body and mouths. Covert behaviour refers to where we place our attention and the quality of that attention. 
• Values are things that are held lightly but pursued passionately. Sometimes values are confused with rules, which often feel constricting and heavy.  

Process Considerations 

• Some clients don’t like the word ‘values’, so it is worth considering some alternative terms that you can use in these scenarios. Some alternatives include being yourself, being true to yourself, living life your way, behaving like the sort of person you want to be, qualities you want to model, chosen life directions, what you want to stand for.  
• Sometimes clients are unsure if the values they identified are their ‘real values’. In these scenarios, it can be helpful to have a discussion around the importance of putting the values into action. The proof of the pudding is in the eating, and the same goes for values. Only when we start to try the values out in our life will we be able to recognise if they give us a sense of meaning and vitality or not.  

Included resources  

• TW Values Lighthouse (editable): This resource helps clients to identify and clarify what their core values are. This is often a good early step in values work. 
• TW Values Lighthouse (non-editable): This resource helps clients to identify and clarify what their core values are. This is often a good early step in values work. 
• TW Living a Value (editable): This resource helps clients identify and apply their core values to different life domains. It is a helpful resource when you want to help clients establish values-based goals and actions.  
• TW Living a Value (non-editable): This resource helps clients identify and apply their core values to different life domains. It is a helpful resource when you want to help clients establish values-based goals and actions.  
• My Values in Action: An ACT-oriented resource to help clients identify values and work through thoughts and feelings that may pull them away from behaving in line with their values.  
• Valued activity log: a log to help people track how often they act on their values 

Copy for Clients  

As discussed in session, values are like a compass that helps give us a sense of direction. They represent how we want to show up in the world and the more we can bring our behaviour under the influence of values, the more likely we are to experience a sense of meaning and vitality in our life. Attached are some resources that can help you begin identifying and acting on your values. As usual, reach out if you run into any barriers or have any questions.